other, stories

While this short scribbling is the type of thing generally reserved for twitter or facebook, they say your most important audience is yourself, and in this case the most important audience dearly feels this short scribbling is more significant than facebook world and/or twitter world are good for.

Without more ado:

When I click the button in the other open browser tab, I will have submitted the last homework (ironically an essay on education) of my undergrad career; my last lecture is today from 1:00 to 3:20.

*click*

*silence*

Wow.

the final final paper submission

Edit:
Class got out at slightly after 2:00. College is an interesting thing; I finished it this afternoon.

stories

We people like to remember stuff about our big accomplishments, especially lasts. I had a cool job last summer; I was given a big project and got to drive around a cool car. That’s a good feeling. I don’t recall my first day on the job, but I do very well recall my last day. I had some final stuff to do: tie up loose ends in my company email account, finish a final status report for my supervisor to use, get all my company equipment together, clean out the aforementioned cool car, et cetera. But that is not all. That last day is forever etched deep into my heart. My friend died.

At around 8:30am, I got a call; it was my older brother Jason. I stepped outside.

Hey Jason, what’s up?

Uh–Dave–just…something to pray for…

His voice wavered and was slightly gravely. Something was wrong…something was very, very wrong. A horrid cold fear set in; my mind flew: what happened? The first thing I wondered was what could’ve happened to his girlfriend/fiance, Meggan. I knew they couldn’t have broken up. Fear set harder in my bones; maybe Meggan was injured or worse, dead. Jason spoke again after a brief silence, before I had time to think any more; his voice cracked badly as he spoke.

Joe White died in Afghanistan

There was a silence on both ends. We each knew there was nothing else to say;

OK–bye Jason.

Bye Dave.

I hung up. The horrid fear in my bones, realized, curdled to shock. I forgot to breathe for a bit, then took breaths, slow shallow breaths. I prayed, but I can’t remember what I prayed.

I stood outside the office. I don’t remember hearing any noises from the shop or the yard or the freeway. Nothing. Deathly still. I walked over to a rock wall, set down, and cried and cried and cried; I don’t know how long I cried for. I called a few friends to ask for prayers for Joe’s family, but realized I couldn’t make it through a call like that. I called a few other close friends, but sent text messages to the rest. I sat down again and cried more. All at the same time I could not get my mind around it and it hurt like hell and I was cold and numb. I prayed more as I cried; I don’t recall what I prayed then either.

My friend had died in war serving his country; he left behind his newlywed wife and brothers and sisters and mother and father and many dear friends. He left behind a church and youth group that loved him. He left a gaping hole in countless hearts and knit communities. He died a soldier at war for his country.

Joe, I hope you can see this; today so many of us down here remember you, love you, miss you, and weep for you; I hope you can hear it all, or even just a little bit of it; Joe, I don’t feel worthy to say it, but if you can read this, thank you.

U.S. Army Specialist Joseph V. White was born on July 24th 1988 and killed in action in Afghanistan on September 24th 2009; husband, brother, son, friend, good man, follower of God,  paintball and ultimate frisbee extraordinaire. He was Airborne certified and loved to jump out of planes.

Joseph and Jessica White
funny, stories

Something was amiss. My boxers were not right. Wallace must’ve felt something like this in The Wrong Trousers.

I had dressed hurriedly after my morning shower, grabbing just-dried clothes out of the drier and jumping into them like I was flying madly to catch a bus–which I was. Being late to class is not a way to impress the girl who’s always on time…more on that in a moment. I made my bus, barely, and now sat in my regular spot. In the mad bus-catching routine I hadn’t noticed it, but now I did.

My boxers were not right; they were scrunched, and it was bad.

I tried the butt-shift to straighten out this miscreant pair of boxers. It’s definitely the static, I thought. Just-dried cargo shorts (warm and comfy!) + just-dried boxers = static. Duh. I couldn’t get them in order though, not with the mere butt-shift…this case called for more intensive remediation.

I stepped off the bus–this route runs through campus and drops me off right by the building of my first class; I did not have much time or distance. Boxer-wearers out there, I’m sure you all know this move: the slight-leg-shake-step. If you wear boxers and don’t know it, then you should; it’s inconspicuous and useful. You can fix your undergarment while simply looking like you’re shaking out your leg muscles, as if cramped or sore from the previous day’s strenuous workout. Brilliant. I took two steps with this move, opting for the left leg. It didn’t work. My boxers refused to get their act together; they actually seemed even more scrunched about. Not cool.

Double-slight-leg-shake (i.e. both left and right, one after the other) for four steps. This one’s less inconspicuous, but much more effective. It didn’t work.

Oh hi Sally Jane!
(Name changed for privacy’s sake. Let’s just say that Sally Jane is a very nice and very pretty girl who I may or may not have wanted to impress at the time)

Say what? Oh that? Haha, I’m actually OK, just trying to shake out my quads and calves–I did my regular hill running workout yesterday;  I’m just trying to be a bit quicker on the pitch so I can stuff a few more goals in the net before the season is up.

Oh, you play soccer too? Right on! What position do you play? Oh you’re a forward too? That’s so cool! We should go kick it around someti–

–two things happened:

1. I became aware that my boxers were not scrunched about. It was a sock! A miscreant sock had clung tightly to my boxers. This distracted me, so I stopped talking.

2. This sock, for some reason I will never know, suddenly renounced it’s allegiance to static cling and decended gracefully out of my cargo shorts. It landed square between my feet.

(Ah..well, to be honest #1 happened as #2 happened)

But I’m better than that. In the twinkling of a moment, without missing even a fraction of a beat, I deftly and casually shifted my footing  to cover the sock with my fancy running shoe. With a confident air I glanced back up and began to ask about her weekend.

So how was–

She was looking at my feet. I looked at my feet. I’d missed, and the sock was sticking out from under my shoe.

The End.

Disclaimer:
This may or may not have actually happened. I say this because if it did happen, I’d like you to think it didn’t (no duh), and if it didn’t I’d like to not ruin the fun by having you think it didn’t. Your call.

ideas, stories

Tuesday May 25 3:30am

Could God be real?

Could love, pain and beauty, true and deep and human, be real?

I sit outside on the last stair down from the back porch to the yard. A light breeze (the type that sets a sailboat to drifting almost-imperceptibly on a glassy-calm bay at night) rustles through the leaves of nearby Cottonwoods. Inhaling deeply I smell a mix of rain, dew, fragrant flowers, and fresh cut grass–it’s May. Looking to the East I can barely make out the faint orange glow of dawn coming, only an hour or so away. Grandma’s gone now, my buddy Joe has been gone for just over 8 months. My oldest brother is joyfully wedded to the love of his life, and my other brother is near there.

Is jesus christ real?

Are love, pain and beauty real?

Storm is wild enough for sailing
Bridge is weak enough to cross
This body frail enough for fighting
I’m home enough to know I’m lost

Land unfit enough for planting
Barren enough to conceive
Poor enough to gain the treasure
Enough a cynic to believe

funny, stories

Number One

In anticipation of June lemonade stands

I was pedaling slowly up the hill from Magnuson park on my good old road bike. Just taking my time I told myself, but I think not having my strong biking legs from when I rode more had a bigger part to play in it than the relaxed morning. Regardless, as I puttered up the hill, a fellow of about my age cranked past me on an old beat up mountain bike. My word, he was hoofing it.

I made it up the hill to right near Roosevelt High School, locked up my bike and walked around the area, thinking, not thinking, averting-a-potential-mugging, and looking for and occasionally taking photos.  Then I saw him again. He was, with a relaxed a lazy-summer pace, riding back to where he’d come from, towards the hill down to the lake. Dangling off his handlebars was a newly-acquired sack of three yellow lemons from the farm-market-store across the street.

I thought, thought and then smiled.

Warming-springtime lemonade.

Number Two

An inner tube’s fate

I was riding along on the sidewalk of 15th, north of 55th, enjoying the blue sky. Again, I was taking my time meandering along, so I was not terribly paying attention to the walk in front of me. For a moment I did pay attention, just in time to see all the shattered glass as I rode over it. Ah crap I thought–but maybe I’ll get lucky.

I wasn’t wearing gloves, so I had to use my foot to clean my tires as I rode. This is a fine art–too little pressure, and you risk not sufficiently cleaning off the tire. Too much and the tire grabs your shoe, yanking it toward the frame, where it will wedge between the frame and tire, and then you crash in a very awkward position. Not cool.

Naturally I gave this task a lot of attention. I was trying very hard to make sure my foot didn’t get sucked between the frame and tire. So it was that I didn’t see coming the pothole that gave my rear tire a pinch flat.

It’s safe to conclude that today was that inner tube’s day to go.

stories

They glimmer and sparkle and blaze. I may loose some serious masculinity points for saying that; but really dudes, before judging me look at a diamond for a moment than look away. Be honest, you want to look at it again. Why is it so interesting? I don’t know, to be frank…it’s one of life’s little puzzles for me for now. That said, I definitely don’t want to own a diamond. I guess it’s like a racing motorcycle (Ducati Desmosedici…*moment of silent awe*) that way. Awesome, but I don’t want one.
Continue Reading

other, stories

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

-Coldplay

stories

I’d come around
In the early winter evening.
The skies were cloudy, but broken enough
To let through some of the golden light,
As the sun began to set
Over the Northern Sea.
All the times I’d come here to be
The peace had always helped.
It was never quiet,
Not with the waves, always
Breaking over the rocks below,
But so it was, and it was peace,
and it had always helped.

I set the diamond on a rock,
It blazed in the golden sunlight;
It didn’t seem right, though.
An eastern wind blew through the grass
On the bluff where I sat and listened;
I listened to the tranquil place where I was.
A moment passed, maybe more than that;
Here, time had always meant less.
Looking over the sound,
I could see the other two islands
And the Northern Sea, where I was.

I picked up the last piece, and held it
Up to the dying light of the sunset.
All the others I’d thrown into the wind
As a heavy gust blew out over the sea.
It had only taken one careful swing
Of a good sized rock
To shatter the diamond.
Now I held the only piece left
Of what was.
It didn’t blaze at all, but was beautiful.
It glimmered simply in the last light;
it was right.

stories

“My God, why have you forsaken me?!” he cried out, a dying man. His blood was running out–the wood had opened the gashes on his back, from flogging that had nearly claimed his life earlier that day. After the long hours of hanging by nails through his wrists, his lungs had nearly filled with mucus and fluid. They offered him some sour wine. He cried out again, with a loud voice, and yielded his spirit.

So Jesus died, in more excruciating physical, emotional, and above all spiritual pain than any one of us can grasp.

His mother and brothers watched him die. That pain I can begin to try to grasp; I think of my loved ones, and tears fill my eyes. I wonder about the pain his mother experienced, and it shakes me to the core. How did it not break her soul? The single most painful moment of my life was at my friends funeral, seeing his mother weep. I think that pain is etched into my heart and soul for as long as I will be. How did Mary’s soul not break? Maybe it did, come to think about it; maybe it did and was healed. That would surely take a miracle.

I turn, and I look up at God.

“Why did you make me like this? Why do I do evil? And even more, why would you forgive me? Forgive a better man! I’m a horrible person God, maybe you’ll change your mind if I tell you about me, the hurt I’ve done to others…and you love them too!…just by being selfish and prideful me.”

He smiles a little smile, shakes his head, and sighs a bit.

“I love you, child.”

“Well sure, but I screw up! I hurt other people that you love! What about them? What about the relationships I have with others, that I’ve ruined? What about you? I haven’t done a very good job of getting to know you, I usually spend more time doing homework than with you. Not only do I screw up and hurt people, I screw up and hurt you! Some days I wonder if I’m even sane to believe that you’re here!”

He nodded his head, still smiling a little bit.

“Yeah, you do screw up a lot, but don’t worry about that for the moment. I made you to richly, deeply, truly be, son. That means relationships, and relationships in a world where everything’s perfect…well, think about it. It would be a rehearsed act, lip syncing. Relationships are meaningless without right, and downright horrible when there is complete lack of peace. Right needs law and peace needs justice. My relationship with you, above all, is like that.”

“But can’t you just somehow make it right? I would take anything…just…can’t things be right and good for a little while Couldn’t I just be punished? Wouldn’t that make things right?”

“I love you, child. I don’t want to have to punish you for all you’ve done, I’d like there to be another way. Remember the good friend you hurt the other year, and you cried? When I saw your pain, I cried.”

“But…God…can’t you do something?! Anything?”

“I did, my child, I did. Ask Christ about it, he’ll tell you more.”

He still smiled a little bit, and gave me a big hug as I began to sob.

stories

Jaime Escalante died yesterday.

I had always wished I could meet him someday. I guess that won’t happen here.

RIP

:'(

ideas, stories

Definitely one of my favorite short stories–also a true story, which makes it all the better.

Old Horse was the algebra instructor at the school where I teach. I don’t remember his real name anymore. But he had a long face with a big, square teeth, and so the students called him “Old Horse.”

Perhaps they would have liked him more if he hadn’t been so sarcastic. With his cutting remarks, Old Horse could force the most brazen student to stare at the floor in silence. Even the faculty had a healthy respect for his sharp tongue.

One day a boy named Jenkins flared back at Old Horse, “But I don’t understand this,” pointing to a part of the problem on the board.

“I’m doing the best I can considering the material I have to work with,” said Old Horse.

“You’re trying to make a jackass out of me,” said Jenkins, his face turning red.

“But, Jenkins, you make it so easy for me,” said Old Horse—and Jenkin’s eyes retreated to the floor.

Old Horse retired shortly after I came. Something went wrong with his liver or stomach and so he left. No one heard from him again.

One day, however, not too long before Old Horse left, a new boy came to school. Because he had buck teeth and a hare lip, everybody called him Rabbit. No one seemed to like Rabbit either. Most of the time he stood by himself chewing his fingernails.

Since Rabbit came to school in the middle of October, he had make-up work to do in algebra every day after school. Old Horse was surprisingly patient during these sessions. He would explain anything Rabbit asked. Rabbit in turn always did his homework. In fact, he came early to class, if he could manage it. Then, after the lesson, he would walk with Old Horse to the parking lot. One Friday, because of a faculty meeting, Old Horse didn’t meet with Rabbit. This afternoon I walked with Old Horse. We were passing the athletic field when suddenly he stopped and pointed. “What’s the matter with that one?” he asked. He was referring to Rabbit, standing alone, chewing his fingernails, while watching some boys pass a football.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Why doesn’t he play ball, too?” Old Horse demanded.

“Oh, you know how it is. He came in later than the others, and besides—“

“Besides what?”

“Well, he’s different, you know? He’ll fit in sooner or later.”

“No, no, no. That won’t do. They mustn’t leave him out like that.”

“Then we had to break off our conversation because Rabbit had hurried over to join with us. With a smile, he walked beside his teacher, asking him questions.

Suddenly, one of the boys from the athletic field called out, “Yea, Old Horse! Yea, Old Horse!”, and then he threw back his head and went, “Wheeeeeeeee!” like a horse’s whinny. Rabbit’s face reddened with embarrassment. Old Horse tossed his head, but said nothing.

The next day the students from my fifth hour class came to my room awfully excited. Old Horse had gone too far, they said. He ought to be fired. When I asked what had happened, the said he had picked on Rabbit. He had called on Rabbit first thing and deliberately made him look ridiculous.

Apparently Rabbit had gone to the board with confidence. But when he began to put down some numbers, Old horse said that they looked like animal tracks in the snow. Everyone snickered, and Rabbit got nervous.

Then Old Horse taunted him for a mistake in arithmetic. “No, no, no. Can’t you multiply now? Even a rabbit can do that.”

Everyone laughed, although they were surprised. They thought Rabbit was Old Horse’s pet. By now, Rabbit was so mixed up he just stood there, chewing his fingernails.

“Don’t nibble!” Old Horse shouted. “Those are your fingers, boy, not carrots!”

At that, Rabbit took his seat without being told and put his red face in his hands. But the class wasn’t laughing any more. They were silent with anger at Old Horse.

I went in to see Old Horse after my last class. I found him looking out the window.

“Now listen here—,“ I began, but he waved me into silence.

“Now, now, now, look at that. See?” He pointed to Rabbit walking to the athletic field with one of the boys who had complained about how mean Old Horse had been.

“Doesn’t he have special class with you now?” I asked after a moment.

“He doesn’t need that class anymore,” said Old Horse.

That afternoon I walked with Old Horse to the parking lot. He was in one of his impatient moods, so I didn’t try to say much. Suddenly, from the players on the athletic field, a wild chorus broke out. “Yea, Old Horse! Yea, Old Horse!” And then Rabbit, who was with them, stretched his long neck and screamed, “Wheeeeeeeee!”

Old Horse tossed his head as if a large fly were bothering him. But he said nothing.

stories

I was riding a late bus home this evening, and I overheard a (loud) conversation: a young woman was telling a young man about an ordeal of her weekend: shopping for a wedding dress with her mom.

Her mom is getting married for the 7th time.

I tried and tried, but for the rest of the bus ride I could not focus on studying.

Brokenness.

other, stories

The Imperative of Love

You have heard this message from the very beginning:  love one another.

~Yohanan Zibhdi, circa 100 AD

ideas, stories

Sometimes, I wonder how those guys managed to put so much into this song; it just baffles my mind. That’s art, I guess.

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we’re better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children – this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers – this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God